But beyond that, I'm not sure anyone, other than a fellow teacher, knows what kind of burden we deal with. English teachers have hours of essays to grade. Math teachers have building blocks of concepts to build on (and often rebuild). Social science teachers have eons of material to cover. And elective teachers, I'm finding, frequently are left in the dust.
I was hired as an English and journalism teacher. After my first year, I took over the struggling yearbook program. After my third year, I started a digital photography program. I carefully carved out a niche for myself--earning accolades for my organization, dedication and attention to detail along the way. I've helped put my school on the scholastic media map, so to speak. And I've exposed hundreds of kids to a world beyond Southern California, that many of them never knew existed.
As my media-based endeavors grew, my commitment in the English department lessened. And this year, in my fourth year of teaching, I found myself a full-time electives teacher. Which is AWESOME. I show up to work and I get to teach the FUN STUFF all day long. I have a schedule most people would dream of.
But with budget cuts looming, overall school enrollment dropping and general morale at all time low, my stomach is in knots. School is out in a month. I have no idea what I'm teaching next year. I have worked my ass off to build some spectacular programs, and I feel like I am grasping and threads as someone unravels my world in front of me.
The hardest part? Me, the control freak, has no control over my situation. I am sharing some of my programs with another teacher, who has seniority over me, despite the fact that I created the programs. I don't have as many students in my publications courses as I have in the past--which was intentional. A staff of 80 is just too much to manage! But now that I've built up these programs, I seem to have created a reputation as THE person to save struggling programs. So rather than giving my infant programs time to grow and mature, they are being pulled away from me, and another dying program is being dumped in my lap.
Of course, none of this is set in stone. It could all change August 3. Or August 17. Or tomorrow. And I just get to roll with the punches. I guess I should be flattered that everyone thinks I can take on the world and fix everything. But really? Someday, I'd like to be able to come home after school and bake. Just bake. For myself. And not worry about going back for deadline. Or an awards night. Or this. Or that. Ya know?
So, as I sit here, wondering what will become of me, I'm giving in to my vices. Stress baking starts now.
You can call these muffins. You can put frosting on them and call them cupcakes. But whatever you do, you better call them delicious.
Brown Sugar Banana Muffin-cakes
Adapted from How Sweet It Is
Simple, yet delicious. And really, muffins are just cupcakes without make up on, right?
1 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
pinch of nutmeg
dash of cinnamon
1 egg
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3.5 large ripe bananas
1/4 cup sour cream
1/2 cup butter, melted
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a muffin tin with liners.
Whisk together dry flour, salt, baking soda, cinnamon and nutmeg and set aside.
With an electric mixer, mix egg and add brown sugar, mixing until smooth. Mix in vanilla.
Add sour cream and melted butter and mix until just combined.
Stir in dry ingredients, then add bananas (don't even bother mashing---just toss 'em in!) and mix until batter comes together. The batter will be thick.
Scoop batter in liners and fill about 2/3 full. Bake for 15-18 minutes. Let cool completely.
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