My oldest cousin, Steve, would never hesitate to get down on all fours with us and play dog catcher. My cousins and I would clamor around my aunt's house, yipping and nipping at the adults' ankles, and Steve would go right along with our silly game and chase us, put us in the "pound" and make our little fantasy seem totally legitimate and real... I mean, haven't you ever seen a puppy that sports light up LA Gear, embroidered sweatpants and a lovely lady mullet? (I have my mother to thank for my stellar fashion choices in the mid to late eighties.)
Steve's younger brother, Kevin, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with us younger cousins... Which is perhaps why we got so much pleasure out of tormenting him. He had, arguably, cooler toys than Steve (I'd venture a guess that Steve was probably beyond the "toy" phase by the time our gaggle of toddler and adolescent aged cousins came around)--transformers, legos, a miniature suit of armor... All the kinds of things that three to seven year olds really needed to be playing with. We would "sneak" up on Kevin while he was playing computer games and hiding out in the office of my aunt's house, where he instantly retreated the second we showed up for a visit. Deep down, I'm convinced he actually enjoyed our visits. I mean, who wouldn't want a bunch of squealing, pig tailed blondes invading their personal space for days on end?
My understanding of boys, brothers and where babies come from was rather limited when I was a kid. When my mom was pregnant with my younger sister, I remember people asking if I wanted a little brother or sister... What was wrong with these people? Did they not see the splendor that could be made possible by having an older brother? Someone to reach things off of high shelves? Someone to swing me around? Someone to keep the bigger cousins from picking on me (until my sister came along, I was the youngest, and easiest target)? It would have been phenomenal.
I prayed to Jesus, the Easter Bunny, Barbie and just about any holy entity I could think of as a kid. Please, please, please... Someone bring me an older brother... I'll never ask for dessert again! (Fat chance, I was a tub of lard from day one.) I'll always clean my room when asked! (Or throw a tantrum until my nanny, DeeDee, does it for me.) I'll be the best little sister anyone could ever ask for! (Clearly, I had no idea what I was asking for.)
Spoiler alert: I never got an older brother. Biology (and other branches of science, I imagine) kept that from becoming a reality for me. But you can imagine my disappointment when, at three and a half, after nine months of praying and good behavior, I was rewarded with a shiny, pink, YOUNGER SISTER. Could the Easter Bunny have gotten this MORE WRONG? There was clearly some sort of cosmic injustice happening. Maybe the kid down the street had asked for a baby sister? That was clearly not what I had requested.
I eventually got over my disappointment, although I made sure my little sister, Shannon, knew that she was NOT what I had had in mind. I did this by kicking her in the head through the mesh of her play pen, pinching her when no one was looking and essentially inflicting all sorts of torment on her. Granted, she probably deserved some of it---showing up as I was growing out of my chubby, adorable phase (and just being chubby), and giving everyone something new and cute to coddle. What a brat. A big brother never would have pulled that shit. And I bet he would have stolen cookies off the high shelf for me.
Regardless, I eventually grew to appreciate my younger sister. Having someone to beat up on and outsmart was actually rather convenient. And as we got older, we developed a strong friendship. Now, as adults, I consider Shannon one of my best friends. It took me moving out of the house and 1,000 miles away, but we get along, respect and rely on each other. We're in the same corner these days, instead of opposite ones. And really, I've come to accept the fact that a big brother is just not in the cards for this girl.... But if you know anyone with an older brother for sale? Hook it up! There are some cookies on a shelf I can't quite reach.
One of my coworkers recently (as in, like, on Saturday) had her second baby. A girl. Her oldest is a little boy. Is it normal to be phenomenally jealous of an infant? She is set for life! Not only does she have awesomely cool parents, but an older brother to boot! Life... just isn't fair.
And while my knowledge of babies and biology is really limited, I do know that infants are loud and time consuming. And generally messy, annoying blobs of human. So, in order to help my friend out (and ensure that she doesn't forget to feed the older brother, lest someone else be robbed of their dream), I put together some easy freezer meals that are both delicious and (I think) kid-friendly. Kids eat green things, right?
Stuffed Shells
adapted from Taste of Home
24 uncooked pasta shells (jumbo)
1 T olive oil
1 large zucchini, shredded and squeezed dry
1/2 lb. baby portobellos, chopped
1 medium red onion, finely chopped
2 cups ricotta cheese
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup shredded provolone cheese
1/2 cup grated romano cheese
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 t. italian seasoning
1 jar (24 oz) pasta sauce
1/4 grated parmesan cheese
1. Preheat the oven to 350. Cook shells according to package directions until al dente. Drain and cool.
2. Heat oil in large skillet. Add veggies and cook until tender. Remove from heat and transfer to a large bowl. Add ricotta, mozzarella, provolone and Romano cheeses. Stir in egg and seasoning.
3. Spread one cup sauce into the bottom of a 13x9 baking dish, coated with cooking spray. Spoon cheese and vegetable mixture into shells. Place filled shells in baking dish. Top with remaining sauce. Sprinkle parmesan cheese over the top.
4. Bake, unconvered, for 40 minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.
