There are some natural combinations in life that just
work. Peanut butter and jelly. Mac and cheese. Sunshine and flip flops. Romey
& Michelle. They are duos that have roots so deep that trying to separate
them just doesn't make sense—they go together (cue the closing dance scene and
music from Grease). These combos have become ingrained in the way we pack our
lunches, they ways we survived the poverty of college, the way we dress
ourselves and the way we define our friendships.
Even
if mac and cheese or a perfect beach day aren’t in your repertoire, chances are
you have pairings of your own that have come to define the way you do
things. Something feels wrong, out of balance, if your duo isn’t
complete. Your mojo is totally out of whack if you don’t have the perfect
shimmy to go with your shake.
When
you are introduced the perfect pairing, it’s like an epiphany. How did harmony
ever exist before this combination was defined? It’s one of those things that
you didn’t know you needed—but now that you have it? There is no chance you
could live happily without it.
Not every match in my life is material. As I’ve mulled
over this idea of sweet harmonies, I’ve realized that the concept extends far
beyond my culinary, pop culture and fashion realms. My personal life is full of things that I didn’t
know that I needed, but now that I’ve experienced them, I’m not sure I can
survive without them. My friends run the gamut of personality types, from over
protective and motherly, to something of a loose cannon here and there. And
each one of them offers me something, some aspect of themselves, which I can’t
live without.
Since the Fall I’ve seriously struggled with
understanding who I am and what I want. I made a lot of choices in my personal
life that I wasn’t proud of, but I was not thinking long-term or practically. I
was thinking, ‘What will make me feel better, right now?” I guess I was an embodiment
of the instant gratification generation. I didn’t want to wait to heal. I
wanted my life to implode, to sweep up the pieces into a tidy pile, forget it
ever happened and instantly go back to being Jess. I didn’t need to grieve, or
process or recoup… Or so I thought.
Turns out, running full speed ahead, without a break,
without a breath to process, without time for yourself means you basically slam
into a brick wall that you never saw coming. And that hurts. Probably more than
what set you off running in the first place. I hit that wall after the New Year
and I realized that if I didn’t chill the fuck out I was going to miss out on
the chance to let something good happen for me.
What I had to realize was that I needed to LET it happen.
I had to get out of my own way and for, probably the first time in my adult
life, stop planning everything and just let my life happen to me. I needed to
experience my own life, instead of driving it. And once I accepted that I can’t
plan for every what-if scenario and guard myself against every emotion I may
experience, good things started happening.
And now? I’ve discovered all kinds of things that I didn't know I needed in my life, but now they have the perfect place. You could say I
have all the things I knew I wanted (and deserved), plus all kinds of bonus
stuff. And the bonus stuff? It’s the best part.
When things finally go right, after they've felt wrong
and forced for so long, it’s better than an epiphany. It’s like taking a huge
breath, when you didn't realize you’d been holding yours in for who knows how
long. You don’t always know that it’s right, until you stop trying to figure
out what it is and just let it be. And then, if you’re lucky, the pieces fall
into place… And you find yourself happier than you knew you could be, with your life going in a direction you never fathomed you’d have the courage to face again.
Relationships aren’t supposed to be hard. Connecting with
another person is supposed to be sort of a basic instinct, right? We want
companionship. So why do we make it so complicated? Why do we concoct a
complicated formula for what should really be a simple, perfect pair? And when
we finally find that match, why question it? Let it be. When you find that one
thing that you didn’t know you were missing, but suddenly you have and can’t
imagine life without? Don’t fuck it up.
I’ve had this recipe for chocolate chip cookies for ages.
I’ve understood the concept of a cookie since I started baking in middle
school. But I never found the perfect balance of ingredients until I started
playing with this recipe. And once I stumbled across the addition of pudding to
the mix, I realized I had a winning combination. And I don’t mess with that.
You never knew you needed pudding in your cookies, but once you have it, you’ll
never turn back. The chocolate chips are just the bonus stuff.
Pudding Plus Chocolate Chip Cookies
Adapted from Allrecipes.com
Ingredients
- 4.5 cups flour
- 2 teaspoons baking soda
- 2 cups butter, softened
- 1.5 cups brown sugar
- .5 cups sugar
- 2 (3.4 oz) packages instant pudding mix (whatever flavor you fancy... I usually use vanilla or butterscotch)
- 4 eggs
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 4 cups chocolate chips
- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
- Sift the flour and baking soda together. Set aside.
- In a large bowl, cream the butter until light and fluffy. Add the sugars.
- Beat in the eggs, one at a time.
- Add the pudding. Blend in the flour mixture.
- Stir in the chocolate chips.
- Drop cookies by rounded spoonfuls onto an ungreased cookie sheet.
- Bake for 9—12 minutes.
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